The Face I Can't Forget
by Amelie N
Summary: They've danced around it for years and now they must decide. CS oneshot. T to be safe. This is my first fic, please R&R.


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing except this slightly desperate attempt at a fic.

**Summary**: Angsty fluff. Does that even make sense? Oneshot. Beware, this is C/S. After years of dancing around each other, they must make a decision.

**A.N**.: I thought I'd warm up with a oneshot. I have been writing for a while but this is the first time I've posted, so be nice. And please, please review. I need to know if there is hope for me :-) The song is 'She' by charles Aznavour. I thought it fitted well. Also, this is probably pretty out of character, but I'm just getting started, and I'll work on the characters.

**The Face I Can't Forget**

_She may be the face I can't forget _

_The trace of pleasure or regret _

_Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay _

_She may be the song that summer sings _

_May be the chill that autumn brings _

_May be a hundred different things _

_Within the measure of a day _

I think there are moments in life when everything changes. Moments where you can go into a room as one person and come out as someone completely different. And though no one else may sense that change, you will. You may not change the way you act, but you change the way you think. You may not change the way you speak, but you change the way you feel. My change came years ago, when I was called to Vegas by a man I thought I wanted. But it was all an illusion.

I came to Vegas as someone who took every day as it came, never looking back. I pushed everything to the back of mind. I didn't let anyone in. I didn't know what love felt like. But it all changed.

Sometimes I wished I had never come to Vegas. In San Francisco I was sleeping. Walking through life in a numb shell, separated from the world. No one knew me. I may not have felt love, but I never had to endure the heart wrenching pain it brings. But it only takes a simple glance, and I know that I will never be able to leave.

I don't know if she felt it too. The strange feeling that took over my body when I first saw her. She made me feel. For the first time, she made me want to feel. Because every last bit of pain was worth it, if she only touched my arm. Threw a smile my way. Brushed up against me. I kept pretending, but I know I didn't fool her.

We played the game for years. Constantly at each other's throats. Pushing each other until one of snapped. She dated a few guys, and I made out I still had a thing for Grissom. We tried to hurt each other. Tried to dare each other to break the vow of silence, that unspoken agreement we had made.

It had worked so well for years. But I could no longer suppress it. When I occasionally went to bars, I'd wake up the next morning to find this blonde, blue eyed girl in my bed. But it was never her. And when I was alone again, the pain, the emptiness was just more vivid, more apparent than before.

It was getting harder and harder to push her away. More than once I sat outside her house in the darkness of my car, starring at her home. I never knocked on the door.

The guys still thought this thing between us still had to do with Eddie's case. They never caught on. Some thought that I didn't like Catherine because Grissom and her were so close. That I was jealous. Some thought that it was the other way around. That she was jealous of me. But we both knew better.

But it couldn't go on like before. I couldn't leave. And I knew she wouldn't either. We had to choose.

Then one night, she was sitting on the steps in front of my apartment when I came home. All she said was "We need to figure this out."

I didn't have to ask what she was talking about. I ushered her inside. Told her to sit down. She said she preferred to stand.

"He's going to ask me to marry him. He asked Nancy if she thought I would accept. He's taking me out to dinner tonight."

I didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about. He had been seeing her for about 6 months. He was a lot better than the guys she had had before. He was good with Lindsey. He was good with Catherine. Yet she was here.

"We've been dancing around this for years, Sara. I don't think either of us can deny this thing between us. But I know we never did anything and probably never will. But, just in case, I thought I'd check…". She looked at me.

"All you have to do is shake your head and I will leave and accept his offer of marriage tonight."

As she waited for it all to sink in, somehow the only thought in my head was how beautiful she'd look in a white wedding dress. I turned to look at her. In movies, at moments like this, they'd be in a park flooded with sunlight. Or in an art gallery with romantic music in the background.

But to me, this moment was all that and so much more. She had never looked more beautiful, her hair slightly ruffled, her blouse a little crumpled. And suddenly it hit me. I would never get another chance. It was now or never.

"Cath." She looked at me wit her brilliant blue eyes. "Come sit with me."

I felt her join me on the couch. Entwining our fingers, I placed a soft kiss against her temple. It wasn't a crazy, cheesy proclamation of love. It was simple. But it meant everything.

"Remember the first time we met." She looked at me, a smile playing about her lips at the memory.

"You told me I was confused."

We both smiled at the memory.

"I wasn't really, you know. I think it was the first time in months that I could actually see something clearly."

"Cath. Don't marry him"

I felt her shift in my arms. Felt the softness of her lips on my cheek, then on my own lips. She buried her face in my sweater, and I smiled into her hair. Soon, we'd have to move, pick up Lindsey, I'd go to work, she'd talk to the guy, but then, right at that moment, all we did was lie on my couch and revelled the feeling of something that we fought so hard against and that now that it had caught us, seemed to be all I had ever wanted.

A.N: Please, please, please tell me what you think. Honestly. No flames though, please.


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